Around the World In 80 Cups
by The airman
Summary: An escaped convict (Wontkins) and a jovial executioner (Wilkins) are forced to work together in order to stop a conspiracy set in motion by a mysterious ragged person and a second escapee.
1. The Escape

_July 25, 1963_

_Folsom Prison, California_

Wontkins never knew his life would come to this. He had always intened to be an innocent man, one that would never fight without reason. He had hoped to live a normal live, get married, start a family, and live happily. That all changed five days ago. That was the day he admitted a dark secret- he had never drank Wilkins Coffee before! Now, as he looked in the dark, musty room, Wontkins could only sigh in exspiration. As he propped himself up onto the seat, he heard the door open.

Entering the room was a small creature, light brown in color. He had big eyes, a wide smile, and skinny arms. This was Wilkins, who was schedueled to give him his sentence. He simply said "Follow me." Wontkins obliged, not wanting to cause further trouble. The two soon exited the prison, and entered a courtyard, with a single guilliotine in the center. Wilkins turned to Wontkins and told him "Get in." In terror, Wontkins yelled out "Are you crazy? What did I do to deserve this?"

Wilkins could only think to himself, before answering "I don't know. I didn't attend the trial, I just got word to execute a red, triangle-shaped critter. And how many other red, triangle-shaped creatures ould be in the vicinity? By the way, do you have any last words?" Seeing his chance to escape this madman, Wontkins yelled out "Look over there! It's Mickey Mouse!" As Wilkins turned around in curiosity, Wontkins dashed out of the courtyard, out of the prison, and out into the open.

Little did Wilkins know, there really _was _another red, triangle-shaped creature. This was Sneegle, who had been caught and arrested for child endangerment. As the imp waited in his cell, a hideous person in black rags approached him. The person told him "You wanna escape? Then come with me." Sneegle obliged, the skinny monster squeezing through the bars, and introduced himself to the person as they walked out. However, the mysterious character would not introduce themselves simply saying "You'll find out in time..."


	2. On the Run

_July 26, 1963_

_Folsom, California_

Wilkins was not in a good position. Not only had he not found Mickey Mouse, but when he returned to the courtyard, Wontkins was gone! He thought to himself, "What'll the Prime Minster of Tinkerdee say about this?" At that moment, the Minster, bespectacled and banana-shaped, entered the room, asking "Wilkins, have you heard the news? A prisoner has escaped!" Wilkins questioned in return "Who's the escapee?", to which the Prime Minister replied, "I didn't get his name, but he's red and triangle-shaped! Do you kno-" But before he could finish, Wilkins rushed out to catch the prisoner.

Five miles away from Folsom Prison, Wontkins had finally managed to run out of breath. However, this did not mean he was safe, as he knew chaos would ensue if someone saw him. Therefore, he decided to do the one thing he could do - draw a mustache on his face. Knowing he was safe now, he decided to walk into the local grocery store and stock up on supplies. As he grabbed some beer, he remembered to draw a mustache on his ID. Now, he felt he was truly safe - until he heard someone yell out "HEEEEEEYYY, WONTKY!"

This was Onky, a well-meaning but somewhat clumsy friend of Wontkins that worked at the grocery store. Onky knew that Wontkins had been arrested, but also felt that he was not guilty of the crime. Wontkins reluctantly decided to tell Onky the full story in private, after which Onky told him "I'll help you get what you need! First, we'll need some-" However, he was interrupted by the arrival of Wilkins, who yelled out "I've got word that an escaped criminal is here, now where is he?" In a panic, Onky told him "He left about 15 minutes ago, saying he was heading to San Francisco!"

Surprisingly, Wilkins bought the lie, and exited the store in a hurry. After a few minutes, the two made sure the coast was clear, and Wontkins got the rest of his stuff. He said his goodbyes to Onky, and went on his way. 15 minutes away from the store, he prepared a life raft and took off his disguise, convinced that he was safe. However, seconds before he stepped in, Wilkins saw him and yelled out "Alright, buster! I've got you now!" Panicking, Wontkins threw a rock in his face, allowing the little triangle to escape. Now, Wontkins really was safe...but for how long?


	3. Out at Sea

_July 27, 1963_

_Tinkerdee_

Down in the dankest, nastiest cavern in all of TInkerdee, Sneegle and his hooded friend were attempting to concote a plan. However, all of them had a weakness that would likely expose them. "You know," Sneegle said, "this would be a lot easier if I _knew who you even were_." The hooded person replied "You might be onto something, kid" and handed him a photograph, featuring them unmasked. Sneegke thought that the photograph was the ugliest he had ever seen, but simply said "I meant, what's your name?" Irritated, the hooded figure whispered into his 'ear' their identity. Now aware of the truth, Sneegle and the hooded person got to work.

_Folsom, California_

The sea was quiet. Too quiet. Wontkins was not comfortable. He had the feeling he was being watched. He knew that Wilkins was out to get him, and that he likely would stop at nothing to succeed. He didn't know what Wilkins could do. He didn't know where he was. He could be watching him at this very moment. In fact, it was very much possible that he was not alone in his quest. It was possible that he had garnered assistance from the rest of the prison staff, and it was possible that they too were watching him. But he could not tell for sure, and unless he could escape the bottom of the ocean where he lay, he would never find out.

Wontkins was stuck in a deep, dark cavern, and his only company was a rock stuck to his leg The rock would not move, but he still had an idea. He saw a large, sturdy plank adrift. Carefully, he used his other leg to grab his satchel, which held the deflated life raft, which would grab the plank. The red triangle barely succeeded, and dragged the plank over. He took ahold of it, and _slowly _hoisted the rock up. Grabbing his satchel, he attempted to swim up, but discovered that his leg was broken. Painfully, he attempted to make the remaining distance.

Kermit was rowing back to shore after a successful canoe ride when he saw two red objects attached to a stick. He rowed over to investigate, discovering that the smaller part was a person hanging onto the other object, a satchel. Kermit threw him aboard and checked for a pulse, exclaiming "He's still alive!" Quickly, the lizard administerd an attempted CPR, only to be splashed in the face by Wontkins as he coughed up water. As he came back to conscienceness, Wontkins asked "Who are you?" The stranger responded "I'm Kermit, and I'm on vacation here before I start filming some commercials. But that's not important right now." The two then rowed their way back to shore. Now, Wontkins was sure he was safe...for now.


End file.
